[更新] 8年，爱情走到了尽头，也许离婚是一种解脱。。。

supercat_s

看完以后很心酸。我老公小时候爸妈离婚了，他总跟我说不希望儿子有一天也在单亲家庭成长，因为那种感觉不好受。真的一切都已经不可挽回了吗？我明白当妈妈的都希望自己的孩子在完整的家庭长大，楼主你做这个决定的时候是深思熟虑过，还是只是一时的气话呢？

泪雨重心 发表于 2012-2-17 18:03
生了孩子的女人....一定会被老公嫌弃.....
更何况....女人一但有了孩子....80%的心思都会放在孩子身上了 ...

如果你是女人，我祝福你以后被你老公抛弃，除非你一辈子不生孩子，当然了，他们也可以用不生孩子的理由抛弃你。如果你是男人，只能说哪个女人跟着你谁倒霉！宝宝板块很多妈妈都很幸福，也没见有了孩子就被老公嫌弃的

色色宝

真不容易 女人在爱情婚姻中基本都处于劣势 好好照顾自己和孩子吧

Hi!

LZ，你的经历和我朋友很像，只是她没有孩子，她和她前夫在一起7年，后来也是婆婆来了NZ后一年不到就离了。她婆婆来了之后老给她老公灌输一些思想，他老公完全听他妈妈的，对我朋友态度完全变了。她老公也几乎是单亲家庭长大的，他老公父母感情不好父亲常年不在家，所以母子两相依为命多年。我觉得单亲男孩以后特别容易有婆媳问题。
最夸张的是，我朋友结婚当天晚上，他老公喝醉了，她婆婆竟然把自己儿子带到自己房间去睡了。

其实我朋友和他老公很有感情的，都是初恋，但我朋友告诉我，只要有她婆婆在一天，这日子根本就过不下去的，还不如离了吧。我朋友现在过得挺好的，也马上快要有自己的宝宝了，新找了个老实人，也肯定不会有婆媳问题。
所以LZ你要加油，只要有你婆婆在，就会家务宁日，还不如离了婚自己好好过，除非你有办法改变你老公，既然有了孩子就在给你和你老公一次机会吧，先分居看看，也许分开了他才知道你的重要。

baobaomama

有时候事情真的不是我们自己能左右的，太多周围的人和事都在主导着我们，使事情的结果违背我们的意愿。 真的是不知道该怎样安慰LZ，只能说一步步走下去吧， 有了孩子我们就失去了很多自己想要的选择，支持你的思想，难过是难免的，而且要持续很长一段时间。。。。
记得对自己好！！！！ 这个很重要！！！

ˇ尐饭团↘

抱抱..  更懂得你，珍惜你的人，会很快出现的..

生活中，男人和女人大多数都喜欢新鲜的，刺激的
事情来证实自己的存在魅力。
所以，lz的男人可能想另外一种全新的生活了。
因为他的条件不错。
我觉得孩子和婆婆都不是主要的原因，是lz的男人
变了。
所以如果是我，仍然喜欢他，就找他谈谈，实在不行
还是放手（强扭的瓜不甜的）。说实话，作为女人，有一份可以养活自己，
甚至孩子的工作。缺了谁都一样可以过日子的，也许以后
的日子更好呢。
至少我是这样对待我自己的婚姻的。

强夫

夫妻矛盾很重要一部分就是婆媳关系不和。

聪明的老公会及时化解矛盾

笨老公只会选择性的站在一边。

对你们的爱情按到惋惜！！！！

suzisuzi

Married or not you should read this...网上现在的这个故事非常流传，如果想挽回婚姻，楼主要做点努力妥协
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane.

I didn’t love her anymore.I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.

I thought she was going crazy.Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.

I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and
she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

andyrachel

Hi! 发表于 2012-2-17 19:10
LZ，你的经历和我朋友很像，只是她没有孩子，她和她前夫在一起7年，后来也是婆婆来了NZ后一年不到就离了。她 ...

居然真有要和自己儿子睡觉的JP婆婆！！还是在自己儿子结婚当天！！天雷滚滚啊！！

Cheese-Cake

看过一声叹息,婆媳关系真是天下最难解决的问题之一

longzi

命呐............

Hi!

andyrachel 发表于 2012-2-17 19:29
居然真有要和自己儿子睡觉的JP婆婆！！还是在自己儿子结婚当天！！天雷滚滚啊！！

是啊，我听了都惊了，那是在他们回国内办酒席的时候，后来她婆婆来了NZ和他们一起生活的种种狗血事件就别提了，我朋友真是无奈才离婚的，刚离婚那阵可真是舍不得自己的初恋自己7年的感情啊。那有什么办法呢，她婆婆都已经帮自己儿子找好小三了。
所以我特别能理解LZ，有的婆婆真是JP到家了，不是你对她好她就领情的，就像LZ的婆婆连他们的账户什么都要查，基本没什么回转的余地了。

Naati

爱情没有十全十美
总会有这样那样的矛盾，

如果你们互相还有感情，尽量解决吧，何况你们有共同的孩子
也许分开冷静一下想想，这么多年的感情放弃好可惜的

linsikai

lz是个有主见的女生，也是一个勇敢的女生。
不多说什么，我只能送上祝福。祝lz顺利，幸福！

我也是因为恶劣的公婆离得婚，我想不被逼到一个极点每个人都不想放下曾经深厚的感情，人最后不能连起码的自尊跟底线都没有。在我们结婚之前我们都以为结婚只是两个人的事，却忽略了其他所有的因素。其实到最后就是一种解脱，我幸运的是没有孩子，所以离了婚的我比以前洒脱快乐，现在也找到了一个好男人，有主见明是非的男人。
LZ 你一定也要幸福，善良的人最终会得到幸福的，要坚强要独立快乐。至于你ex,我只能说祝他下一任好运吧，没有几个人能受得了那样的婆婆，就让他们继续着吧，会有他们后悔难受的时候。

热锅上跳舞

这世界怎么了，一个一个都离婚，还是祝你开心！

eye0599

经得住平淡才是真的生活，人生并没那么多那 激情和冲动的爱，我想更多的是爱情向亲情转化的过程，慢慢长大吧，

MISSWANG

看得我很心痛，时间真的可以改变一切？不知道我以后会是怎样的？我只知道我老公现在还爱我！

lzh520bmw 发表于 2012-2-17 16:10
谁动心谁完蛋。

精辟。 我再也不要做动心的那一个了。

susie77

儿子是自己的，难道孙子就不是自己的了吗？非让孙子成长在单亲家庭里！

晒太阳的猫啊

结婚不是2个人的事，是2个家庭的，所以家庭融洽这个因素，一定要考虑到。。。。。结婚还是要先得到父母的支持。

DoubleC

现在的爱情都好脆弱！

summerin11

女人为爱情和家庭付出的男人很少理解，懂得珍惜的人还是太少。祝福你和孩子，一切都会好的，需要时间。

琪琪小仓库

怎么可以这样 婚姻不应该是这样的

Anyl

导致这样的结局，重要的还是在男人那里，男人应该懂得如何处理自己的妈妈，还有自己的老婆的方法，让她们更好的沟通与相处。

西兰鼠

可以理解出走时LG不闻不问的那种感受，特别是PP在中间。
LZ要坚强，至少还有儿子跟你过。相信宝宝会给你带来另外一种快乐。

luoluox

感动，勇敢加祝福

小涵泡泡

因为楼主还爱着她的老公吧，所以她没办法包容一个对她已经没有爱的男人。碰到单亲家庭，特别是妈妈对儿子这样的，而且儿子还很听妈妈的话的，真的很头疼。一个家里怎么可以有两个女主人呢？
楼主如果想开了，就放手吧，太痛苦了。可是你要坚强啊，因为你还有个儿子需要抚养呢。