ain't here looking for average joe

tina223

average Joe that I come across day in and day out just bores me stiff. they could stare at Kim Kadarshian's derriere on Women's magazine，scrubbing her twart in their wander and mind screwing her for hours on end; but eventually when they set out to tuck that ding dong to kingka that ling long, their wiener would either don't budge an inch or go flat out flabby in a mere matter of seconds.

Now, I am gonna turn a new leaf hoping the next year that is yet to be written in my book won't be a repeat of another annus horribillis. So hear me out, gentle an meek hombres, you can all now bugger off for I need a Chucky-ish man to be my companion.

Therefore, if you are a dead ringer for Chucky and are at least 1/2 as naughty as he used to be when he was on that tomato sauce spree. Come knock on my door and lets talk.

Leave a private message here if you are interested AND ABOVE ALL, only if you are Chucky-ish.

我就是yigubigu

wtbhouse 发表于 2014-7-3 23:05
I have came into New Zealand for 12 years. My English is middle up but why I cannot understand evan  ...

认真你就输了，我也觉得，如果有我也看不懂 的英文，要不是莎士比亚的文章，要不就是**不通的文章了。故弄玄虚是行不通的，毕竟那是英文，又不是甲骨文，该知道的大家还是会知道的。

wtbhouse

I have came into New Zealand for 12 years. My English is middle up but why I cannot understand evan one sentance of your article. I just tried to read the first line and there are 5 English words I have never seen in my life. What is 平均Joe?  bores? stiff? stare?derriere?

martin1860

大家都在哪里学的英语啊。好汗颜

martin1860

现在，我会翻开新的一页，希望明年也就是尚未被写在我的书会不会成为另一个Annus补充horribillis重演。所以，听我说完，温柔的温顺HOMBRES，你可以现在都开溜

ciao_cestlavie

batboy21 发表于 2013-10-8 14:18
I ain't your average joe

I have the I.Q. of plankton and the physique of a heavily pregnant blu ...

Bravo..........

Westy_mate

Hey hows it going? just saw your post on Skykiwi.

Im just looking for some casual fun/dating, Wasnt too sure if that was what you were after too?

Anyways, im not Chinese but I have a QQ, facebook etc..

My QQ is 1469557147
My facebook is www.facebook.com/lolmas

中国人在NZ

版主没删帖，是不是没看懂

巴依老爷

这么著名的帖子我不留个印，以后都不好混了。。呵呵

jkcui

sugarbabe 发表于 2013-10-11 22:14
为了造福看八卦的群众。。崔哥你翻译翻译可好。。可能有很多男生想应聘可是碍于沟通不便

谢谢你瞧得起我！但坦白地说，即使我这个翻译官对里面的个别词语也吃不透，拿捏不准，
查词典也不给力，但我真的挺佩服缇娜和那个打擂台的鲸鱼的语言能力的。
我和缇娜已经化敌为友，成为朋友了，我不想让她误会我，除非她请我翻译。

sugarbabe

jkcui 发表于 2013-10-11 13:49
我的好版主啊，我要是有那个本事，就不用在这里起劲儿地吹了耶。哈哈。。

为了造福看八卦的群众。。崔哥你翻译翻译可好。。可能有很多男生想应聘可是碍于沟通不便

jkcui

susie77 发表于 2013-10-11 12:34
求你把它带走吧

我的好版主啊，我要是有那个本事，就不用在这里起劲儿地吹了耶。哈哈。。

susie77

jkcui 发表于 2013-10-11 07:49
求神也带我走吧！

求你把它带走吧

jkcui

susie77 发表于 2013-10-10 22:23
神啊，带它走吧。

求神也带我走吧！

susie77

神啊，带它走吧。

wendylennane

jkcui 发表于 2013-10-10 19:47
说真的，就事论事，如果不是从小就在这里读书的孩子，英文真的是很难达到这个地步的。

jkcui

wendylennane 发表于 2013-10-10 20:43
oh oh

说真的，就事论事，如果不是从小就在这里读书的孩子，英文真的是很难达到这个地步的。

wendylennane

jkcui 发表于 2013-10-10 19:41
哇塞，这些年轻人的英语真是不错啊！这么好的才女，咋会没人欣赏呢？

oh oh     

jkcui

wendylennane 发表于 2013-10-10 18:56
omg

哇塞，这些年轻人的英语真是不错啊！这么好的才女，咋会没人欣赏呢？

wendylennane

DEY828 发表于 2013-10-9 13:33

omg                {:8_392:}

batboy21

PURELY COINCIDENTAL

OMG that was you at the movies I caught a glimpse of you sitting there looking innocent just as the lights where going down so I headed over you way with the dwarfs. As I approached you dived into your Hermes only to emerge with what could only be described as a gargantuan black dildo the dwarf’s looked bemused at how that implement could fit inside a Hermes.

You then went tit’s down and you big white flabby arse came up in the air as you searched for a 240v outlet to power up the gargantuan black dildo as you came up your eye’s where wide and you where dribbling at the mouth with excitement no longer did you have that sweet innocent look about you the dwarf’s where terrified I had to quickly beat one off before I reached you

By the time I had reached you. You had buttered up your gargantuan black implement from your popcorn and mounted it and was going hammer and tong’s at the sight of Mat Damon on the screen I plopped my behind on the seat next to you and you grasped my hand and started to suckling on the egg white's as you high tide was approaching as you climaxed you sprayed the dwarf’s and sucked off two of my finger nail’s  the dildo flew of like a missile and buried it’s self in one of the dwarf’s rectum while he was ducking from your spray. While I was consoling the traumatised dwarf’s and trying to tend to my finger’s you disappeared never to be seen again I thought but no here you are in search of a Chucky

MSM

FML 观光团后期领导来指导慰问.

DEY828

chang824

Acticars

To tian123 and bathboy21, very interesting articles, look forwrad seeing more..............

tina223

batboy21 发表于 2013-10-8 15:18
I ain't your average joe

I have the I.Q. of plankton and the physique of a heavily pregnant blu ...

MY DREAM - THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FANTASY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS iIS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.


The wit of algae pumps iron unto your gourd, putting you up on your mettle. You quit ur blathering barnacles  and dingy dive to the bottom of the bottomless pit to fornicate with an albino whale from whence you pry open the cetacean gash and unearth for yourself the shape of a seriously knocked up whopper having a bun in her belly.
You finally decide that enuf is enuf and cut loose with the flock you hook up with and come out reeking of the stench of a marine wanker and claiming the crown of the Messiah in marine obstetrics.

You come back home pauper status.
nowadays you can't wheedle dwarfs into acquiring your knit-work for which the dwarf's immediate predecessors in title used to pay through their fuckin schnooks in their demanted obedience. Now, they want freebies, a two-way ticket to and fro your rectum before they would even consider buying a scarf.

Your brother ain't dead. He just pined for the fjords cuz unbeknownst to you he was a miscegenation between ur genes and those of a seriously prego Norwegian blue whale who has since stitched up her snatch to let on a false appearance of chastity, and yet all the while pining away in wistful longing for the return of the adrenal pumping pleasure that, once sent off down her beavers, had born you a brother. Ur gumboots did not dent yo bro a bit; he had the auspice of the uncanny gene from the whale that would guarantee him a bailout in every snaf he could possibly find himself in. As to the whereabouts of the gumboots, your brother ate them and used the remnants to embellish his sack 6 feet under where he'd reposed until most recently. He has awakened to the urge of getting even; this time, he ain't resort to gumboots for heavenly retribution; he will ram that Swiss sausage down the rubber and stick that pulsating wiener in the craw of the aforesaid Messiah.  Here comes the Messiah with a dildo lapping over his trap.  

Your mum is gonna welcome you with open arms and aromatic teats that have invigorated in every pore thereof since the return of her prodigal son. She won't chide, much less whip, you for all sorts of transgressions of varying degrees which you have since the tender age of 6 committed. You ain't smell troglodyte for you are a neanderthal already and being rancid beyond earthly bears the hallmark of a neanderthal, thus divine. You don't act the part of a chimp cuz since King Kong died  inhaling your divinity you have been crowned the king of chimps. Your face ain't nauseating; besides being used to haunt a 6-bedroom dwelling for free, it's pawned off as the most effective replacement for enema kits. A melancholy yearning for rectum is seen as a gold thread running throughout the theme and touches off, in its passing, rounds of applauses and forelock tugging from naughty flatulists.

Your papa has upgraded his repertoire of weaponry sincean overseas trip to a place dubbed Sodom. Instead of using the thingys that have worn to a frazzle, he would now wield his sjambok and beat up your effigy   until it's torn to pieces and is nudged within an inch of its expiry range. The cupboard where you used to play hide and seek with your papa has been shattered thanks to the foreplay you mama and papa staged within. With a flare of creativity, your papa would sneak in the toilet recess whatever is left of the effigy after a good whipping

If a ghost stands in my way clanking his medieval chain, I would as soon cut his apparitional ass down as I have him in the cross hairs of my Gatlling.  The speed of me blipping ghosts off the grid does not make me the antithesis to a misanthrope;  I quit knocking off ghosts and don on my best bib and tucker so I can skull fuck the snobs who have aversion to everything illuminating or iridescent.  

I sunbathe in the pleasure of having the goosebumps that Borscht vulgarities send down my spine. It came to pass that the blue whale's Jew too. I rode in a doozie flivver that constantly plays the B flat and leaves me in the lurch. When this happens, I hitch ride and drygulch the eccentric nerd to give me a head down the clams when I drive and swerve. For me, beaters are not only a means of geting A to G but a way to attain the epiphany that Kama Sutra bears witness to.

I chuck everything vibrating and shining in my Hermes that I take with me whenever I go see a flick. The movie I watched last time had Mat Damon in it. It took some getting used to cuz Damon in the movie was not the Damon I used to for he was baldy and bulky from waist up. That did not bother me, not at all.  What's busting my hump during the movie was a nerdy 30ish having the shape of a prego whale and plopping his behind on the seat next to mine. I forgot to switch my Vertu to "shut-up" mode and it went ablaze 5minutes into the movie that literally knocked every audience in trance off their feet . The nerdy next to me appeared to be chomping at the bit even more, eager to scrape up some acquaintance, with his left paw sneaking to the back of my neck and his right hook glistering with his eggwhites seen groping for the bag of fries I was carrying.

Fortunately, I messed him up real bad and sent him banging and barreling down out of the hall, an incident which caused him to blow his cool on a girl aged,as we'd remarked, 6. That cost him his job; stripped off the only means of subsistence, he was left alone on streets to score smack and fend for himself.

YUK, I wake up to the sound of my alarm realizing the above is but another phantasmagoria of weird dreams of mine.

FOR FLOPPY PLOPPY - YOU PULLED THE TROPE ONCE; SHROUDED IN UNGAINLY FLAMBOYANCE IT DID   STRIKE AS SOMETHING OUT OF KILTER WITH THE ORDINARY. BUT WHEN YOU USE THAT SAME PUNCHLINE OVER AND OVER TO THE POINT OF ABUSE, IT BECOMES CLICHEIC, IF NOT ENTIRELY ASININE.  PLZ COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW. TO FALL BACK ON ANACHRONIC  NOTES AND REGURGITATE THRICE OVER THE SHIZNIT VERBATIM DOES NOT WIN U A THIRD TIME CHARM.

Ce Fini

我会空手套白狼

你什么时候再发一个

[男找女] ain't here looking for plain jane

oceanhome

这样的女生，很痛苦啊！！  和毛利小屁孩，和帕克哈的小屁哈混久了，，，也不知道自己是哪族哪派的。。。。想想还是华人男孩靠谱，，又怕华人男孩太土。。。。所以用街边英语来这里小试牛刀。。。看看有没有合适的香蕉人ABC  ????    这位女生在这里算是客气的，，如果她给你发短信，你一定会疯掉！！  但是她自己感觉非常的好，这才是牛B ！！ 这样的女生抽烟，喝酒，烫头。。。样样在行。。。。。哈哈

tina223

SING SING DOWN AND WHERE TO EAT