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碰巧我订阅了,复制几行回信给你看看
Dear Sam,
We're sorry, but you are probably going to find our answer frustrating. We have worked through the impact of hundreds of affairs, and, from our experience, we don't think what you are asking for is realistic. Infatuation, lust, and excitement invite us to kid ourselves about the consequences of our choices.
So, our first tip for "navigating an affair" would be not to imagine it's something you can do without risking hurting your partner badly. If you are betraying your partner's trust, they will always be badly hurt by that. You may believe "what they don't know can't hurt them". However, there is no guarantee that you can keep your affair secret when all our communication records are relatively readily available, and Aotearoa is such a small place.
Even if you do, the secrets you hold tend to have a corrosive effect on YOUR trust in your marriage. You will be acutely aware that your partner doesn't know the whole truth. Every time they say something positive about your character or fidelity, you will wince internally, likely feeling fraudulent and unworthy.
If you are hiding what you are doing from your partner because you know they will be hurt, angry or upset by what you are doing, that's infidelity. You are knowingly breaking the contract you have with your partner. |
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