Lets fight for our right (man's right) to stay with the wife in hospital!!!

ysun062

My wife had our 2nd baby in Auckland City Hospital a few weeks ago, she had a planned c-section, and was in hospital for 4 nights. We were in a private room (not shared)

On the first night, one of the midwife asked me to leave, but I refused, I was very straight up and front up to the midwife, and she gave up and asked me to sign a form to stay overnight.

The second night, more senior midwife and manager come and asked me to leave again, my wife was very upset and cried and asked them to allow me to stay, and they didnt, but I insist I stay, they eventually given up, but was very pissed off. Told me their manager will talk to me the next day.

The third night I was there, their big boss come and asked me to leave and told me there will be a security to remove me at 8pm, so I said please let the security guy come and i'll talk to him.  I was angry, and I protested and made a complaint to one of the hospital manager, the manager said the decision has been made, and its because the midwife/manager didnt like some of my behaviour at the hospital, I asked what behaviour? he said he can not comment on it.

So at 8pm the security came and asked me to leave, I left without any battle.
The fourth and final night, I stayed and no one bothered me even they know I am in the room.

Conclusion - I know that its hospital policy not to let partners stay over night with the wife and baby, and I think thats a stupid policy that needs to be reviewed. Some hospitals actually encourages partners to stay, and at the Auckland city hospital, some midwife and our doctor (who did the c-section) actually supported me, they said keep fighting, I have all the right to stay !!

I think we all need to stand up and confront to these people when it comes to thing that is not right !!

歪歪和乖乖

对啊没错 手术后真的很需要老公照顾

catface

如何fight？c-section之后那一夜是很困难的-如果有自己家人照顾就方便很多。医院的护士也就是每几个小时查房

看来这个policy是需要review.

bubugu

我的經歷跟你相反，晚上的mid wife 希望我老公留下，我老公說只可以留到mid night. 某日senior midwife 就拿了張form 給我老公，填了這form 你任何時間也留下。我老公說好看看怎樣就沒理會。第二天晚上那senior midwife 再來，對我老公下命令。今晚怎樣也要留下，要學習怎樣晚上照顧BB。我老公火起，為什麼要我晚上留下，我是做night shift 不可以留下，公司也找不到人代我的工作。其實我知道醫院的midwife 不喜歡照顧早產twins 工作量多又麻煩，希望我老公晚上可留下幫忙照顧嬰兒。我有醫生reference letter 晚上我不用起床照顧嬰兒。晚上餵奶，換片是midwife 的工作。所以怎樣我也不會要我老公留下。

selina_wen

楼主你遇到的是什么Midwife啊？我生的时候，我老公还有我婆婆都在医院陪我，而且我们是shared room，只不过隔壁床一直没有人，我老公每天都陪我到12点才回家，7点的时候会有midwife进来说要8点走，可是他们下班了，晚班的midwife就不管了，只要你不要太大声吵到隔壁房间的人，他们都不会进来叫你走。有时候12点他们见我老公，还问要不要留下来照顾我，要留下来的话只要安静就行。可是我老公说要回去，因为第二天要给我煮汤来过来。所以他们都是陪我到每天12点，1点才回家。

ysun062

catface 发表于 2012-6-4 18:04
如何fight？c-section之后那一夜是很困难的-如果有自己家人照顾就方便很多。医院的护士也就是每几个小时查房 ...

just tell them "No, I will not leave", and say that many times.

ysun062

bubugu 发表于 2012-6-4 18:34
我的經歷跟你相反，晚上的mid wife 希望我老公留下，我老公說只可以留到mid night. 某日senior midwife 就拿 ...

Which hospital were u in ? Liked I've said, different hospital have different view on this, and even in the same hospital (Auckland City Hospital), different ward will have differnent view on this.

I was in the Tamaki Ward, I heard in other ward in the same hospital, they dont care if partners stay or not

ysun062

selina_wen 发表于 2012-6-4 19:12
楼主你遇到的是什么Midwife啊？我生的时候，我老公还有我婆婆都在医院陪我，而且我们是shared room，只不过 ...

thats pretty good for your case, I think I was up against a group of very racist and abusive midwife (and management)

prayer914

Agree with you. If they don't have the resource to have one nurse allocated to each room, they should allow the husbands to stay.

ysun062

prayer914 发表于 2012-6-4 20:11
Agree with you. If they don't have the resource to have one nurse allocated to each room, they shoul ...

they definitely do not have enough resource, and they failed to understand having the partners overnight actually reduced their work.

tanui

Some kiwis are very stubborn and arrogant! I think the point that they do not like you to stay is that they think you have despised the "rules" they have set up. And as a member of the vulnerable group, you should just follow what's been laid out!
Let's fight for it! Women who had c-section should be well looked after!

bubugu

ysun062  2012-6-4 19:19
Which hospital were u in ? Liked I've said, different hospital have different view on this, and ev ...

I am in tamaki ward also. As I understand that if you sign the form and your wife stay in a private room, they should allow you to stay over night. That's what the senior midwife explain to us. I agree that they did not have enough nurse at night to take care the mother and new born baby. That's why they force my partner to stay at night to help them to reduce their work load.

ysun062

bubugu 发表于 2012-6-4 22:12
I am in tamaki ward also. As I understand that if you sign the form and your wife stay in a privat ...

I guess it depends on who is in charge of the ward at the time.

_瑞希_

绝对支持这个提议阿  我生怕一个人住到后来都要得抑郁症了