We're sorry, but you are probably going to find our answer frustrating. We have worked through the impact of hundreds of affairs, and, from our experience, we don't think what you are asking for is realistic. Infatuation, lust, and excitement invite us to kid ourselves about the consequences of our choices.
So, our first tip for "navigating an affair" would be not to imagine it's something you can do without risking hurting your partner badly. If you are betraying your partner's trust, they will always be badly hurt by that. You may believe "what they don't know can't hurt them". However, there is no guarantee that you can keep your affair secret when all our communication records are relatively readily available, and Aotearoa is such a small place.
Even if you do, the secrets you hold tend to have a corrosive effect on YOUR trust in your marriage. You will be acutely aware that your partner doesn't know the whole truth. Every time they say something positive about your character or fidelity, you will wince internally, likely feeling fraudulent and unworthy.
If you are hiding what you are doing from your partner because you know they will be hurt, angry or upset by what you are doing, that's infidelity. You are knowingly breaking the contract you have with your partner.作者: alike0932 时间: 2021-11-15 23:07:56
They remind us men don't marry the kind of girls who've had lots of sexual partners, sleep with someone on the first date, or dress revealingly. No, these women are the kind of women men just have a bit of fun with. They're good for a night, or a few months on the side, but definitely not worthy of taking home to mum.
We hear it too, in the way men speak about women when they don't think we're listening – in the pub and on the footy field – they talk about their sexual interactions in language that sounds like it belongs on a construction site, bonding over how they "bang", "nail" and "pound" us.